Departures

Hey all.  I feel like I don’t have a lot to say this week but I didn’t want to skip because that could lead to me missing several weeks in a row.  It is a slippery slope. J 

The reason I don’t feel like I have much to say this week is because for the last week I have really neglected my relationship with the Lord.  I could tell you because it is Spring Break and there is a lot going on and maybe that is part of it.  But there is never a good reason to neglect my relationship with the God who created me and the Savoir who redeemed me.  I have had time to work out, to walk the dog, to search pinterest for landscaping ideas…..  My actions seem to indicate that I value my fitness, my backyard project, and my dog more that I value the one and only Lord of my life.  That doesn’t even make sense.  Yet I do this all the time.

It is not that I haven’t prayed.  I have had time to ask the Lord to watch over my son who is camping with a bunch of buddies and to ask Him to help my daughter and her boyfriend with their internships for the summer.  I have taken the time to thank Him for the wonderful blessings He has provided.  This seems similar though to what it would be like if my son came and asked me for money to do things, or new cloths, or gas for his car and was appreciative of it but never took the time to actually talk to me or find out what was going on in my life.  That does not a relationship make.

This Sunday our youth pastor gave a sermon on 1 Samuel 15.  He is an amazing speaker and is so passionate about the Lord.  One of the things that struck me the most about his sermon was that we are so bothered, and disturbed by the fact that God required Saul to kill an entire group of people, children included, who hated the Lord but we are not as bothered by the fact that God offered up His own son in death; a son who loved Him and died for us.  Why is that?

My husband and I have recently started watching a series on Netflix or Hulu called Departures. 

This show is great.  It is about two guys + the cameraman who took a year to travel to different places around the world and document it.  Last night we watched the episode where they travel to Cambodia.  In one portion of it they visited a far away village and got the opportunity to experience a tribal ritual that only takes place ever 4 years.  The people were singing and celebrating and there was a large cow tied up in the center of the circle.  At the end of the celebration the cow was hacked to death with a machete and beaten with a large stick over the head and then they cut him up and ate him.  I couldn’t even watch.  I could see it coming and had to close my eyes.  Even the sound of it still bothers me.  But somehow I can hear of Jesus dying for my sins on the cross and not be brought to tears or bothered to spend a few minutes with Him each day.   How can that be?

What's next Lord?

Last week we talked about how God’s plans are often different from the plans we create for ourselves.  The second page in our layout is titled “What’s next Lord”.  I have probably asked this question a million times.  Anyone that knows me knows that I like to be busy.  I like to do things.  I have a very hard time sitting still.  God created me this way so He knows it’s my nature, yet sometimes that is exactly what he wants me to do; be still. 

I want to follow God’s will for my life and sometimes I realize that I am at a crossroads.  I am at a place where I know change is needed and I can see that I need to let go of some things, responsibilities, activities, and relationships….  I often find myself stuck in a place of questioning and searching for the next step God has planned for my life.

Recently, while doing a study of Moses’ life, I realized that sometimes God wants us to draw close to him for a period of time.  There is no specific thing planned for us other than a time of getting to know Him better.  Moses had 40+ years that God used to prepare him for leading the Israelites out of Egypt.  It took 40 years for God to prepare Moses for that responsibility.  Forty years of Moses learning to shepherd, learning to be patient, learning to be obedient, learning to lead, learning to love, learning to trust.  Was Moses sitting out there with the sheep praying to God, “what do you want me to do next?”   I wonder how often we waste this time because we are searching for something to do for Him when all He wants us to do is get to know Him better.

I often get so caught up in trying to discover what God wants me to do that I don’t take advantage of the time that He gives me to draw close to Him, to learn about Him, to develop my relationship with Him.  What if I stopped worrying about what He wanted me to do and took one day at a time.  Committed to serving Him in everything I do.  Committed to spend time with Him each and every day getting to know Him better.  Committed to allowing Him to lead my life without me having to know what the plan is.  Committed to letting go of my need for control and my need to knowing what is going on.  Committed to taking each step mindfully aware that God is in control and all I have to do is be obedient to Him and keep taking it step by step.

I have to admit that this is so hard for me.  I am a planner.  I enjoy planning.  My natural instinct is to plan out each day but I am working on it.  I am trying to not let my to do list rule my day, not to let my need to feel productive rule my life.

So I leave these squares blank and one day I will fill them in but in God’s timing not mine.  I pray that I do not waste a moment that He gives me to draw close to Him, to praise Him and to allow Him to work in me to prepare me for the plans He has for my life.  I pray this for you all as well.

The Lord will work out His plans for my life -- for your faithful love , O Lord, endures forever.   Don’t abandon me for you made me.  Psalm 138:8